Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
