why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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