its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
