So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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