I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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