That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
These tits shall not be calmed
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
