Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
