i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
