so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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