I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
