Your face is a jimmy john
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
