So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just cropdusted the office
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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