I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
