worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
