My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
