Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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