Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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