I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
