Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
