sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
