I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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