Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need moral support for this bender
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
