so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
