I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We had sex on a dog bed..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
