It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
