I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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