Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
