If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
