So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
