is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
