How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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