You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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