I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
