I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize