You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
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I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
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I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.