On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?