I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It's Friday. Sex?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.