is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I love you. Go after that dick
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
