We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
