Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
