I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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