i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your penis caused this!
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