I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
