Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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