You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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