nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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