Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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