Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize