Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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