you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
