had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
