so that wasnt chicken after all
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
