Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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