I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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