Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
