Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
