I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
