Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
