YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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