ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
