After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
