Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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