I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize