Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
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