there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
