I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
